Let the Belizian journey begin!!!

Sometimes, you can completely anticipate what is coming. You can spend months, weeks even years preparing your heart and mind and soul for a thing and once it arrives, you're perfectly ready and prepared to face the journey. 

Sometimes reality sneaks up on you. Even with all of the planning and preparing, the day is so far off and then suddenly you're awake at 3am to follow the hand and voice of the Lord into the depths of the unknown. 

I'm going right now. I am on a bus to Belize to love and serve and pursue the heart of God through his creation and treasures in this place. 

Going Seems almost routine for me. I've been going on mission trips for the past 12 years. None of this process is foreign to me. I'm comfortable with the travel, with the discomfort that comes from being in an underdeveloped place, with being flexible and running raggedly thin. I know this drill and I am confident of my ability and capacity for being this instrument of God's love and heart and glory for humanity. 

But this morning, there is a weight on my chest, a heightened sense of emotion that is unfamiliar for an experience like this. It's a proclamation that this journey had been ordained from the heavenly realms. It's a promise of the Lord to me that Mighty and powerful acts are to come, and I am allowed and called to bear witness to them all. 

So this morning, I praise the Lord. He has done such a marvelous work in my life. Truly and remarkably He has transformed my heart, mended brokenness, revealed truth and placed upon my shoulders a call that, though inaudible, is deeply rooted within my soul and it drives me! I am so gracious to be in a church body that is actively seeking discipleship and promoting this love on a local, national and global spectrum. And am I ever so thankful for the power of the cross of Jesus Christ! 

There is both a distinctive peace and conviction in knowing the life of a blameless man was beautifully laid down for my own, for all of us in this team and for those we will encounter who do and do not already know Him. What a friend He is to trust me with the beautiful burden of going, moving with His Spirit and proclaiming the truth, calling others unto Him. 

Thank you Father for this call and conviction, and the act of your power that sends me. Today I go, feeling this weight but I am not anxious or worried for what is to come. Over the course of the next 8 days, may I love and serve in a capacity that is beyond what I have ever done or seen. May I and all on this team know your presence, power and might in every moment and may our hearts be bound to your grace in truth in every way!! Thank you for sending us, for sending me out. Make us brave. Fill us with courage and joy that are radiant and unattainable on our own. And Father, break us of our sin and pride that can easily be our hinderance and fix our eyes on the cross of your magnificent, servant son, that we may live for Him and the sacrifice He has made for our souls and freedom. Thank you!! 

To those who will see this, I urge you to pray for our journey and this experience. We fly out of Houston in a few hours and return home on June 20. Thank you for your love and support and the large and small roles you've played in my journey. I can't wait to share this one with you all!!! My faithful God has promised beautiful things and he is FAITHFUL as the dawn!! 

In Grace's Amazing Hands, 

Katelyn 

when peace isn't like a river

I would like to preface this post by simply saying this is literally an overflow of my heart. The past months have been the most challenging times I believe I have ever endured...and I have been through a lot in almost 25 years. But what I have known, still, in the midst of my own chaos and chaos in the lives surrounding me, living and walking with me, is that my God is still here, and when I rest in His name, He fights for me and my brothers and sisters, when we can hardly cling to the truth. 

Hope is coming, sure as the dawn. Darkness will continue to pierce and attempt to bind us, but together we will stand in the fullness of His glory and wait on the day when we'll see His face. Sin will not overtake our hearts, it may knock, but it will be bound from us. Joy shall return. 

So, here is what I want to share about where my community is. Maybe this is where you are too:

Tragedy cuts us all so deep. On our souls, the air weighs heavier than any physical weight we have ever been challenged to hold. Our hearts have been beyond broken...they're shattered, they look helpless. Peace has escaped us and our cries echo into the darkness that grips, fights to rush through and overtake us. We have torn off our clothes of delight and joy, and have become wretched...all we can do is weep. This world looks so ugly and it fiercely screams that it and all in it are against us.

In the furthest depths from sight, clothed in all of our own agony and pain, a small flame flickers and it grows. The fire is fueled by our weakness, by our utter pleas for something, anything to take shape within the mess of these empty caverns once filled by a simple, fragile heart. We can't see it, or feel it, and we are far from any hope of understanding what the fire means, but the fire is fighting for us.

We are all facing giants. There's an utter inability to understand why, or how at once we've all been tested and attacked. When it seems like all we have are one another, and it is well, we're hit, individually so deeply and again a fear pervades our minds that says we are suddenly alone.

These moments that are drown in feelings we can't name or place, are suddenly quenched by the fire. I still can't truly feel the sparks that I know by now have been ignited into a flame, a wildfire that cannot be put to rest. But I have begun to hear. It's not a booming clap of thunder that spells out pretty illustrations of what I've anticipated life to be. But it is the voice of Truth.

In my despair, our despair, our misery and drowning sea of darkness, we are suddenly all together, and holding us, all with our burdens and brokenness, is a Mighty Conqueror, a Beautiful Savior and a Risen King. Here, in this desolation, seeking our hearts, when the depth of our wounds is too great to even, simply cry out His name, is Jesus... And He is standing in victory!!!

Praise His name that we have all had one another on this road. That in a season where we have literally taken blow after blow of bitterness to our own individual souls, we've still had room to unwaveringly cling to our sisterhood. We can't comprehend how we've continued to even put one foot in front of the other, even within we have faced hardship and strikes against our unity.

But all of these things, all brokenness, fight, persecution, suffering, sadness, darkness and gut-wrenching pain have been a test of the prize that is coming to us. Our faithful commitment to selfless and relentless loving of one another has earned us valuable ground in the rings of this fire that is the only thing keeping us going.

And suddenly we realize that together, and with the Son of the Living God in our midst, we are champions for His glory and the mess is stripped to reveal women bathed in righteousness and redemption and perfect, overwhelming peace and rest. It surpasses all of our human understanding long and far, but we know this is alright.

We sit and reflect and realize together that some of us were quickly overtaken by the fire. Others of us have endured the agony for what seems an earthly eternity. But we share in this prize of a faith that has become likened to pure gold.

We no longer see weak and wounded girls, falling quickly as prey to a fierce enemy, but we now stand as women brave and strong, staring headfirst into a destiny commanded by the One who was, is and is to come. And He doesn't just look upon us, He is in our company,  giving shelter and courage to fight back towards the battle that will simply always rage.

He looks upon us with kindness and as daughters who were worthy of His own trial and test. He sees us as fit for a journey more remarkable than those before and He takes us into this beautiful unknown, with the abiding promise that above facing this world together, we're facing it with Him, hand in hand.

darling i'm a nightmare, dressed like a daydream...

If there were rules for blogging, which required strict following in order to keep your page, I’d have been fired from this whole thing a long time ago. It’s not because I don’t like writing, or because I am a boring person with nothing to say. It’s always on my mind to write my thoughts and feelings and share them with whoever is around to care, and despite what I tell myself, I’m always doing SOMETHING so there is plenty going on to talk about. I’d like to confess that my problem with blogging, and life in general it would seem, is finding time to actually just STOP. I don’t even need to explain that, because if you know me, you have seen this quality first hand, and as much as I wish it were different, it’s something I really wrestle with letting become the simple task that it really just is. I wear a mask of comfort in business and insanity.

Anyways, I realized this week, that I haven’t had anything to proclaim to the world through this blog in almost a year and a half, and what I said last was quite profound (to me at least), at that time. Lately, I’ve experienced every aspect of life differently. As I read back to August 2013, I was in a remarkable place. The Lord was chiseling away and revealing to me what my life in His image looked like. My expectation at that point for bigger and better has certainly been radically surpassed, and I rest in a promise that only GREATER things are to come. It is thrilling, I assure you!

This week, I went to church on Wednesday night, just like I do every week. I went to the youth service, as normal, and I was basically just there. I had no expectation of being needed by a student (for comfort that I could relate to oh, so closely) and I also had no expectation of having a video played again, that on my last trip to Jamaica caused my entire focus and perspective to shift. I was tired from a long day at work, and an early morning workout, and honestly, I was more hungry for earthly nourishment than for the scriptural meat that I was about to receive.

To say that God is awesome is not only obvious, but also a drastic understatement. If I could adequately express how flooring and sweet He has become to me on a daily basis, through His word, promises, encouraging people and much more, it would be magnificent! But what I am sure of is that God has the best motives and intentions, even when I’m weak at the end of the day, and think I’ve had enough. Through seeing this video again, I was reminded of the work that God the Father has done on my image, still chiseling every day. I was reminded that Jesus died so that my image didn’t have to be found in the world and the image the world thrusts upon me—socially, physically…—doesn’t define me, or really even matter in the grand scheme of things. And I was reminded that the Holy Spirit transforms images in major ways, when simply invited in, to do good.

I was reminded that there is a distinct comfort humans have come to find in wearing masks and playing the part of “enough” to and for the world. We each have our own strivings and goals, but how often do we truly seek, intentionality in those things? Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where actual change is what we seek, but most of the time, our change is short lived and only surface level. I’m pretty over that.

What if in 2015, we take off our masks and realize the level of discomfort we should feel from our comfort zones. What if we gave ourselves each day, the same blank space that Almighty God gives us every moment to be satisfied by nothing more than all of him, which is completely enough for all of our broken, mask wearing human nature.

I may not be the biggest fan of Taylor Swift, but she is definitely onto something when she says she “is a nightmare dressed like a daydream”. WE ALL ARE.

Even in the church, we put on pretty masks and faces and fear complete transparency and vulnerability. I mean, it’s really hard and uncomfortable, but is a comfortable life truly fulfilling? Not for me!

Unfortunately, the general church phenomenon of America is complacency towards our problems, and an outward reflection of surface-level caring. It’s pretty heartbreaking and it should disgust us to so passively glorify this multitude of things that are breaking lives and shattering people’s worlds all around us.

I have been remarkably blessed to be involved in a college ministry at my church where these masks hardly exist within the group of people where I spend the majority of my time. I love that I don’t have to be afraid of these people. I have long lived in fear of what others thought of me, neglecting the fact that ultimately, it only matters what the Lord thinks of me, and He made me in His own image! (What more could I possibly desire in my human quest to be “xyz-enough” than to be in the image of the invisible, Almighty God who holds and commands the universe in the palm of his hands?)

I love that every day, we walk intentionally alongside each other with a willingness to express our passions, heartaches and fears, the shortcomings of our pasts and the moments that the world would choose to say have tarnished what we deserve to be. I love that in this newfound fearlessness, I am challenged to understand why the Lord has so radically shifted my perspective of what He has in store for me, and to receive the grace that he has lavished upon me MOMENT BY MOMENT.

People!!! Fullness in Christ alone is as close as the space we allow Him to pervade in our hearts. Intimacy with Jesus is ours for the taking! I love walking with people who want to seek this as much as I do, and who want to push me to seek it deeper than I currently think I understand. It is beyond exciting to live life with people who are seeking to be on the same page with letting the Holy Spirit work us through where we have been and carry us into a glory greater than we can imagine, through our contentment!!

In 2015, I want to learn how to stop! I want to lose the mask I think I NEED to wear that shows my having things all together and put on the hands and feet of Jesus in all that I say and do! I want to be radically convicted of my business and redirected towards a covering of grace and righteousness that reminds me why I do it all in the first place. I don’t want to keep on being a nightmare that’s dressed like a daydream, a pretender and a happy face.

This year, I want to be captivated by the fullness of this grace and abide in a longing expectation of Jesus! 

in grace's amazing hands, 

katelyn

PS: If you're interested in the video I mentioned, refer to my previous post or search for "God's Chisel Remastered" on YouTube. The video is by the Skit Guys and they have TONS of awesome, thought provoking tools to check out. 

Also, stay tuned, and please encourage/hold me accountable to stay on top of posting! Next up will be something along the lines of what is so amazing about GRACE to me!! 

My Jamaican Comfort Zone

Hey y'all, this is probably my last blog during my trip to Jamaica and so I just wanted to share what I've been learning while I have been here! This trip has been absolutely incredible and although it’s difficult to know I’m leaving sooner than I originally planned, I know it’s for the best and God has an awesome plan at home for me to dive into.

As I prepared to come and live here, and be submerged in this culture for such a length of time, I never realized how comfortable the Lord would let me become here, in the sense that I have truly felt at home in this place.

I honestly did have moments of skepticism before I left. I would think to myself “Katelyn, can you really go and live in this different culture for a month or more and be okay there apart from everything you know?” But in those moments of doubt, I trusted that this was God’s plan for me to be here. And oh, how sweet His plan has been for me, always, through my entire journey of life.

That’s what I really want to write about today. What I’ve learned during this trip. I didn’t come here to necessarily do any “soul searching” or to “find myself” or any of those big things. I came to Jamaica following my heart, because God has made this place so near and dear to me. I trusted that if I came here obediently I would be used and that He would guide me and help me learn and understand Him more clearly and His plans for me.

Unfortunately, His plans remain a mystery to me. But, the mystery of these plans is what continually captivates me about the Holy Spirit and continues to grow us.

As for being directed and used, I can say 100% without any doubt that I know God has been at work in me and that I have made a difference. Not just because Nel has told me, but because this Jamaican experience has been so unique compared to all of my others.

This time was the most different because of having campers. It was so incredible to be a part of the lives of all the children and teens that came through New Generation Camp this summer. I am thankful for knowing them all and grateful to have met them, as well as the staff members.

The most incredible part was getting to experience the lessons that they all learned. The focus or theme for camps this summer was Identity, and so in their own ways each group focused on teaching campers more about their identity in Christ.

I wouldn’t say that I have struggled with a personal identity crisis or anything like that, but I will admit that the past several months and couple of years I have let my identity be influenced by things outside of Christ and so I didn’t let him entertain 100% of my focus.

I have always been such an advocate for childlike faith, as it is a HUGE part of my personal testimony and I have seen it be so largely and exponentially moving in so many lives. Seeing childlike faith at work again this summer was once again convicting. Through the eyes of children and teens at New Generation Camp, seeing them grow closer in touch with their identity in Christ has been a pleasant reminder that there is much more comfort and security in this identity than a worldly and social one.

Trusting an identity that isn’t centered on Christ creates struggles, doubts, fears and too many other voids in the heart to keep track of. So my commitment as I leave is to keep my identity rooted in Christ, going confidently in Him and knowing that as His child, I am capable of conquering much more than if I try and maintain life on my own.

When my identity is myself, sure I am special and unique, but when my identity is in Christ, I am a Masterpiece that He is constantly pouring into and continually building, it’s a simple choice, I just have to let him in and surrender control to Him.

This all comes back to comfort zones because in Jamaica, I am completely out of control of every aspect of my life and that normally that would be uncomfortable, but because I know God is taking care of it all and I’m here for His purpose and Glory, I am comfortable. I am also convinced there is so much less distraction. Yes it is by choice, because I am in a place where things aren’t as readily available. But the society I come from is so convinced that we can’t live without being the biggest and the best. We are obsessed with complexity.

I don’t want to go home and become obsessed with being complex again and complicate myself to a point where I lose sight of who I should be and where my focus should stay. I also want to be able to trust God as completely at home as I do here. I don’t want to become distracted by society and its expectations.

Obviously this means making sacrifices, but over the past month I’ve confirmed that there are many things I’m so used to having that I certainly don’t need to get by. Not to say that I have to get rid of everything in my life, or that it’s all evil because it isn’t; but I don’t want to be dependent upon worldly things or people for happiness or contentment as I sometimes have in the past. I want those things to come from the Lord and I want to fully trust that He will provide and sustain me with all the other things that I need, and desire to be happy and strongly identified in Him, in the right times that I need those things or people in my life.

I apologize for rambling, but I’ve wanted to just share what’s been on my heart from this trip, and here it is. I can’t wait to be home soon and just be loved by my family and friends there. I miss you all dearly, and I’ll see you soon!!

In Grace’s Amazing Hands,

Katelyn

PS- here’s a video by the Skit Guys—Who I absolutely LOVE—talking about being God’s Masterpiece. It definitely helps define letting your identity be rooted in Christ. Check it out, it definitely made a difference to me!

My Jamaican way of Life

So this time I want to give y'all some details on what camp life is like for me as Nel's assistant and what I get to do besides interacting with the campers. It's really fun but I'm kept very busy. 

I start my days pretty early, sometimes leaving to pick up the cooks at 6:00 so (believe it or not) Im up and awake before then. As soon as the cooks arrive I join them in the kitchen to assist with meal prep for the day, or if Nel picks them up I go down and start getting ready before they arrive! 

Now this may seam un-glamorous, but anyone who knows about my past experiences in Jamaica knows that Mrs. Barbara, the main cook is top notch and my kitchen idol!

Spending time working under Mrs Barbara is possibly one of the best things of being here. She is wise and just a blessing to be around. Being in her kitchen is always a Mary moment because its constant absorption and building up! I've learned many new things to make and ways of doing things to take home from her in these short weeks, and it is so valuable in every sense of the word!!! 

My favorite things to do in the kitchen are make all of the traditional Jamaican meals like dumplings and fritters and calaloo with salt fish, stewpeas with turkey neck, and all f the fresh fruits and veggies we use! Mrs Barbara even grows her own pumpkins here at camp and she is so proud of them! Lots of vegetables are common at home like sweet potatoes, tomatoes, yams and carrots, but some are native to Jamaica like cho cho, a sticky, green thing that leaves a glue over your hands that you spend the rest of the afternoon peeling off. 

My least favorite thing in the kitchen is peeling papayas at breakfast. Not only does it taste horrible, in my opinion but it smells absolutely awful! Basically it smells rotten and I can't see how they eat it and love it so much.. As for fruits I love the mangos and oranges, which aren't actually orange on the outside here. Also bananas and plantains are so plentiful here. We have many banana trees at the campsite. 

I also do a lot of driving for Nel, going into town to the supermarket or wholesale, hardware store or the market to pick up this and that. Driving on the wrong (left) side of the road and car isn't so bad and I'm used to it. The worst thing is I'm just slow compared to everyone else and they're always passing me (overtaking as they say here) and the road to camp is horrible so it takes about 10-15 minutes to travel the 2.5 miles up from the main road. 

Sometimes I'll go to Salem or Priory or St. Ann's Bay or Ocho Rios to pick up this or that and I am amazingly so comfortable remembering where to go and how to do what I need to. I don't feel one bit foreign. Today I picked up a staff member from the bus stop in Ochie and not only did he say I fit in perfectly as a Jamaican driver, apparently I'm a natural, but he also said I don't even drive like a woman! This is said to be a sincerely high complement!!!! 

One thing about driving that I don't get though, is that nobody takes one-way streets seriously. Even Aunty Nel, occasionally defies the warning if it looks all clear. I guess its just another way of life on the island! 

That's all for now!! Love and miss you all!!! 

In Grace's Amazing Hands, 

Katelyn

my Jamaican birthday post

Greetings y’all! Sorry it’s been so long, but finding time to actually sit and write is difficult and getting to the internet that’s sufficient for posting is just the same!

To fill you in, Tomorrow ends children’s camp and begins the last week and 4^th and final New Generation Children’s/Teen camp. Then during the month of August we at the campsite will host various other groups who rent out the site for their own camps.

The groups have been so wonderful. Each so unique and fun, very adventurous and highly entertaining! This trip has been so stretching and different than any of my previous visits here and putting it into words isn’t just cake like you may think!

Although I was most involved in the Ultimate Series Camp for the oldest teens 14-17 years old, and it was a super incredible time to watch them learn and develop spiritually and just to mature as young individuals, I have to say that my favorite group so far has been the Leadership Group the very first session.

These kids are essentially a pre-counselor training group. They do deep leadership and team-building sessions. It was a small group of only 12 youth and they had 2 counselors, I also got to participate with them a lot and definitely related to most of them.

Ultimate was fun too, at first we weren’t sure how many youth we’d have committed to camp, but God provided good numbers and it was a wonderful week. We ended with a trip to Mystic Mountain and I had an incredible outlook on the island, and got my first Jamaican sunburn of my 4 visits to the place. But all is well now.

The Great Adventure (Kid’s Camp) has been fun just because I really love the young children. They’re so loving and absorbent and just eager to learn and be poured into!

All of the children I have met this summer, as well as the peers I have been blessed to work with have been an incredible blessing thus far.

It’s also been wonderful to celebrate my 23^rd birthday today in this place. I’ve been fortunate to celebrate my birth in many different places, communities and cultures and this is definitely my favorite so far, just by the love that I feel here, though I am so distant from my home.

Aunty Nel took me to Scotchie’s for Jerk food for lunch and we had Devon House I-Scream afterwards in Ocho Rios. Judith also brought me a piece of Cheesecake when she came in from Kingston for the day. The biggest disappointment of the day is I’ve really wanted a plain Coca Cola and never did get my hands on one. Oh the little things! Oh well, there’s always tomorrow for another small treat!

Missing everyone at home, my family, friends and precious puppy. But I’m still confident that I’m right where I need to be! Loving y’all and hoping that you’re all glad for the update! I’ll be back with you shortly as soon as I can!! Hoping for wonderful adventures in the final week of camp!

If there’s anything you’d really like to know, please feel free to email me at kate.paige.hukill@gmail.com and I’m glad to answer questions and communicate in that way as best I can!!

Please also continue to keep me and New Generation Camp in your prayers!!

In Grace’s Amazing Hands,

Katelyn

I'm In Jamaica, Mon...

So I just wanted to check in with y’all from beautiful Jamaica! I arrived this past Thursday, on the 4^th of July after an early morning flight out of DFW and being bumped to the second flight out in Atlanta and upgraded to first class, it was quite nice. Only my bags were delayed but not for long and there was no hassle with customs or immigration at all!

Friday the staff arrived in the evening for staff training camp, so that morning, Nel and I went to St. Ann’s Bay for the market and things and so I could remember where everything is. Amazingly, in a place that is quite unfamiliar, nothing seems too foreign to me. Friday night, quite late, the staff arrived and had dinner, then we all had a quick get to know you moment and went to bed for an early morning on Saturday.

Saturday morning began with everyone breaking up into camp groups and acquainting us and sharing our testimonies. Most of my time here will be working as the facilities assistant and doing various projects for Nel around camp, but I will be serving as a counselor for a week during the Ultimate Adventure camp from July 11-20!

We’ll work with the oldest group of students, age 14-17 and it will be the first official group through for the summer! The other staff for this camp were an amazing group of people and I can’t wait to continue to get to know them and work along side of them!

As Saturday progressed, we had some general orientation and training from Nel and different bonding types of experiences and we ended the day with an evening of prayer and worship at the cross on the top lawn. It was an experience truly unlike any I’ve ever had.

In all of my past trips to Jamaica, we’ve been here as an American team, but this time, I’m totally immersed in this culture and experiencing something completely different and stretching. After only a few days, I honestly miss little, aside from my family and friends at home. But I've literally told EVERYONE here about my dog, I miss him A LOT! He really is special to me and my own little prize! :) (Don't worry mom, dad and Emily, I've shown y'all off too, and Jamaica says I look like daddy and thinks Emily is my twin!)

Today we had our final session of staff training and then the majority of staff traveled home to Kingston. In the morning, Nel and I will also go to Kingston until Wednesday to take care of some administrative things and for final preparations before the long month of non-stop camps begin!

I can’t wait to experience it all and share with you as I’m growing!!!

Until next time, In Grace’s Amazing Hands,

Katelyn

 

My Jamaica Love

There's a place in this world rooted deep in my soul. The people of this country have captivated my heart and The Lord has truly blessed my soul by this place. It's a vivid spot in the world. Full of vibrant life and joyful spirits; full of people who truly yearn for love and depth in their relationships. Jamaica taught me a lot about myself. It reminded my of a greater purpose to live for and a greater love to exemplify in all that I do.

Every single day, there are instances that cause me to reflect on my times there and be filled with unspeakable joy. I love it and I know I'll be back in due time.

Today I am thinking of Jamaica because I miss my family there. No longer are the people in my life that remain in that country just my friends, but now my family. They are a part of me, connected by the Holy Spirit, that I cherish to my core.

Every day, I am blessed by my moment of selfishness that led me to this place and by God's grace turned into a life changing blessing and continuing gift. Jamaica reminds me why I strive to live and love above reproach and why my call to serve at home and internationally is Biblical and a command that I wish to fulfill.

Not everyone is fortunate to know where they're called to invest their love and their life. I am so glad that my Father has shown me the people who are my hearts desire to love and invest in, to the best of my ability.

Today my prayer is that the people I am surrounded by and that are a part of my life can see where their mission is, but understand that it isn't just a mission. It's a deeper call to love our brothers and sisters, unconditionally, and when we do, they return it, wholeheartedly!!!

I cannot wait for the day I am back in my hearts home, Jamaica, the place which my soul yearns for and I see in so many dreams.

Until then, for these people I will pray, for St. Anne's Bay, and Priory and the Basic School in Chester and New Generation Camp. The places I have had a small hand in helping to build up and long to return and continue to invest in! 

In Grace's Amazing Hands,

Kate

For My Love of the Game

          In the process of applying to Texas A&M for Sport Management I'm required to write a Statement of Purpose essay. I wanted to share mine with everyone who supports me in my journey and the things I pursue for my life! I love you all and thank you! Feel free to critique and edit before I submit to the University!!! Thanks, y'all!! 

          Nelson Mandela said, “There is no passion to be found in settling for less than you are capable of.” Well I have always been confident that I am not only capable of achieving greatness for myself, but instilling it in the hearts and minds of others who’s passions are similar to mine.

            In 1994, when the Texas-Louisiana Baseball League sent a team to Tyler, Texas, and my parents took me to my first game, we were all completely unaware of the impact that the game of baseball would make upon my life. Yet some of my fondest, childhood memories are of trips to Mike Carter Field to watch the Wildcatters. At the time I hardly understood the game, but the sounds, the sights, even the smells, the entire atmosphere of baseball captivated my young soul.

            Of course I had my first crush that summer too. He was the Wildcatter’s shortstop, and a right handed relief pitcher, Troy Dean Conkle. I was smitten, but mostly because he was my friend too. For my fifth birthday, Troy and the Wildcatters, oh yeah, and my parents too, gave me the most magical, memorable experience, EVER! Rigger Wildcatter, the mascot, took me to the field, where the team had all the fans sing to me! Then Troy gave me an autographed t-shirt, with his number, a rose, and a special kiss on the cheek! Looking back at the pictures of that day, I can remember it so clearly. It was all I wanted, and it proved to me then that I loved baseball.

            The Wildcatters were in Tyler for two more years, but even after they left and we couldn’t just go down the street to the ballpark for games, my daddy kept my fire fueled. He introduced me to the Texas Rangers. It was the era of Rusty Greer, Juan Gonzalez, Mark McLemore and my favorite, Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez. There were many greats to admire, and though the team was far from what they’ve been in recent years, as a child, it was baseball to watch and my heart took great joy in it. To me, this was all that mattered. The spring I turned seven, I also got an opportunity of a lifetime, daddy signed me up to play on my first team, in the Rose Capital West Little League.

            I was the only girl on the Diamondbacks that season. A pudgy little blonde in my teal jersey and grey pants with my stirrup socks and brand new cleats, I was ready as any of those boys for that first practice and then the games. I remember when Coach Hunt told me he was so glad to have me, taking the chance on the boy’s sport, and I just told him I loved baseball and I was ready to play. I was far from the best, and when he gave me a chance to pitch with him one night-it was coach pitch-I totally blew it, but he still gave me the game ball because he knew I tried my hardest that night. Our team came out on top that year, we were the champions of the league and were to be honored at an event with all of the other teams and the east little league too. But that was my only year in baseball, because not long after, Tyler got a girl’s league and I got sent there.

            Fast-pitch wasn’t baseball, but it was close enough and it was a way for me to stay involved so I was okay with it. I still loved the sport and I just wanted to learn it better, so I kept it up. At this time, I decided I wanted to actually be able to identify with a position, and be the best I could there, so I decided to be a catcher. I loved catching, and I did it all through junior high school, and then I decided to join the Lady Raider Softball team at Robert E. Lee when I got to high school. I was in for a shock. It wasn’t quite the camaraderie I’d always imagined and seen in movies, nor what I was used to. The competition was at an entirely new level and I couldn’t just play because I loved my sport anymore. I had to play to win. My coach, Edgy Arbuckle was cutthroat, aggressive and intimidating, and unfortunately, after two years playing for her, I no longer loved what I was doing and I left the team.

            But I still loved watching baseball with dad on TV, and I’d learned to stay in the news and keep up with things going on online during spring training. I’d also started entertaining myself with college teams, during the College World Series in the summer and began to identify with the team from the college I planned to attend, Hardin-Simmons University. It was a small, Division III school in Abilene, but they played UT Tyler, so I got to watch them a few times before I moved off, and I definitely kept up with their news. By the time I got to Abilene, I was determined to know all about the Cowboys and be a regular fan.

            My first year at HSU, once springtime rolled around, I became a regular at John J. Hunter field. I’d gotten to know some of the guys through FCA as well as other fans and the Sports Information Director’s Graduate Assistant. Through these friends I got to know even the head coach and his wife and make valuable connections on the staff of our Athletic Department, which led to filming games and even announcing for the Cowboys throughout my time at HSU, only furthering my passion for the game and desire to make it something I invest my future in.

            My junior year, in on a breezy Saturday night, the Cowboys were playing Mississippi College. In the top of the 8^th MC tied the game with the Cowboys, and in the bottom of the same inning, HSU came back. I was in the press box filming, and in the bottom of the ninth, with two outs and none on base, with a kid up to bat who’d done nothing all game and it looked like we could hold and go ahead in the bottom, he smashed one out, to take it back. In the bottom, HSU tied it again, sending the game into extra innings and the crowd into a sigh of relief and hopes of a soon end. The game ended an hour and a half later after 15 innings! Mississippi College would score one or two each time back up, and HSU would hold them off, and finally in the 15^th HSU clenched the game and ASC West Division title. Sometime in the 10^th inning that night, I imagine online viewers began getting a pretty shaky broadcast, and also a very chatty play by play from an anxious, excited recorder. I had my best friend on the line calling the game to him, as he was a way at a track meet, but he wanted in on the action.

            The next round of the playoffs didn’t go so well for HSU, but that night will ever be engrained in my memories, along with all of my trips to Cowboy’s games and the times I got to be involved in the action. People think its crazy the way I still get when baseball season rolls around. They ask me to explain how much I can enjoy something so much when I don’t even do it myself. Simply put, I truly have a deep love for the game. I don’t just watch it; I follow it year round. It’s not an April through October sport for me. I’m constantly in the news, reading reports and trade rumors. When I can’t follow the action of the sport, I follow the business, and it saddens me that sports of our era have truly become big business.

            I earnestly believe that there are lots of athletes left across the professional and semi-professional industries that make their mark in sports not just for the fame and money but because they still love their games. Yet among the trappings of the fame and fast-paced lifestyles, their passions just become their paychecks.

            I want to study sport management because I believe that it only takes one person reminding players that the core values of their sport and the purity of their game is reason enough to do it and remain deeply in love with what they’re doing and playing for, aside from the money. As well as reminding them that after the money is gone, they have to live for something and they should love sharing their passions with others, because something or someone shared it once with them.

            Whether its recruiting and scouting, becoming an agent, broadcasting or working in sports journalism, which are all things I have considered. I want to be able to do it not only with great passion, but also while exerting great knowledge and professionalism.

            I know the business and political aspects of sport in our culture cannot be escaped, but I know that a deep love of the game still exists in the heart of most players and yearns to be expressed. As I pursue my dreams, I desire to help others pursue theirs with purity and integrity, even in a time where these things seem lost and ancient.

            I am confident that directing others in sport is not only what I want to do, but also something I have been called to invest my life in. Sport has been my passion from a young age, and the knowledge that I have of sports as well as the memories are some of my fondest. The opportunity to pursue this education at Texas A&M is one I will cherish most dearly and I believe it will give me the greatest direction into my future, as I take the next steps into loving my game.

In Grace's Amazing Hands, 

Katelyn Paige

baseball has my heart too...

Today is a day when the air is thick with the buzz of political drama and forecasting. While the outcome of today’s election weighs heavy on my heart and mind, my passion for sports is strong and imminent as ever.

First of all, I believe college football history is to be made this weekend between the Alabama Crimson Tide, ROLL TIDE, ROLL!!! And the Texas A&M Aggies, Whoop, Gig’Em!!! The reigning champions are having a phenomenal season and playing their hearts out as they hold onto their undefeated title, and the Aggies have made a strong debut in the SEC, that has brought shock to fans of all conferences and teams. I truly believe Bama will hold on to their reign after week 11, but I know A&M will put up a good fight with their flighty offense and they’ll make the Tide play hard to win it. Needless to say, I can’t wait to share the afternoon Saturday with some of my closest friends, as they all stay true to the heart of the lovely Texas, and I lonesomely bear all and holler for the Tide. It’ll be fun no matter what happens and we’ll make memories. And I have my hound’s-tooth cardigan, worthy of Bear Bryant himself, all ready to show my pride for the Tide!

On a more serious note, even though baseball season just ended, trade agreements and free agent talks are just beginning to get heated up. You all know I’m as die-hard a Texas Rangers fan as I am an Alabama fan. So the fact that there are so many grey area players this off-season is a little disturbing. I’ve tried to stay up to date with TR Sullivan’s blog, and other MLB rumors, but I wanted to put all of my opinions into writing and officially declare my feelings, so I can look back in a few months when the season begins and see how cut out I am for the industry I’m working hard to make my way into.

So If you’re not into sports, you’ve surely had enough by now, so you can forgivably be done reading and check back in a few weeks for a new post related to more practical musings of my life. But if you know me, and how I feel about my passions, and you enjoy the entertainment of my ramblings, stay tuned for my 2013 Rangers forecasting, and some general MLB predictions.

Josh Hamilton is quite possibly the hottest topic of discussion in the Rangers front offices right now. Everybody knows that this 5x American league all star, former AL MVP, 2x silver slugger and winner of multiple other batting and performance awards on the field has literally been through hell and back in his career. But remarkably, Josh has prevailed through all with the grace and strength of God on his side and proven to be an incredibly talented baseball player. In his 5 years with the Rangers, Josh has had stellar seasons, consistently setting and breaking records and blazing paths for himself and the team as they made their way to post season play multiple times and made franchise history in not one, but two World Series runs.

Josh is a hot topic, not only because of his offensive and defensive productivity and success, but also because of the impact that his time in Texas has had on his personal story. His comeback has been with the Rangers, and many have expressed that if he leaves Texas, there’s a significant chance that he could relapse. He has an awesome support system in the clubhouse, so that’ll be a huge loss to undertake in moving to a new team, but if money is what he’s truly interested in rather than proving his talent on the field and continuing to be a good ballplayer committed to the excellence of being part of something larger than self, is he truly worth keeping in Texas?

I’m biased, and I love him, but this ball club can’t afford arrogance, and unfortunately that’s what society has turned the game into. Nobody above the college sophomore level plays just for the love of it anymore. That’s just sad.

So to sum up my thoughts on J-Ham, as sad as I am to say, I don’t think we’ll see him on the home bench in Texas come spring. So with his shoes to fill, lets talk about more players.

Mike Napoli has also moved to free agent status but may be a more wise choice to keep around the clubhouse than Josh for the figures that they’re worth. Josh has high interest, and Napoli is darn sure worth it, but doesn’t top as many lists so he’d surely be easier to bring back, but equally worth the fight. Plus, on the field, Nap’s far more versatile than Josh. He’s great behind the plate, but he’s also strong on 1^st and he can fill the DH spot when Young needs to be on the field, not just in the lineup. He’s strong, offensively and doesn’t hit defensive slumps and I think he’s got longevity in him so he’d be good to invest in as far as high price offerings are concerned for the Rangers this year.

Lots of pitchers have declared free agency, which is totally normal, making the pitcher market so vast. Currently the Rangers are looking at a rotation of Darvish, Holland, Lewis (set to return for the ’13 season), Harrison and either Ogando or the returning Feliz will complete the Rotation. These guys have the potential to be strong with the two recovering from surgery and with relievers in the pen like Ross, Grim, Kirkman and Scheppers I hope they look as good as they sound. As far as the guys who have declared free agency, the Rangers need to bring in someone who can join Joe Nathan to close out the games. Scott Feldman needs to go. That’s plain and simple, his season of productivity in Texas has come and gone. Guys I’d like to see stick around for a bit are Dempster, Oswalt and Lowe. But, I know there are lots of other guys on the market to look at who could come with low prices so seeing these guys go won’t necessarily be too heartbreaking.

As for the Rangers current active and 40 man rosters, they could definitely make it with what they have. Last season lots of young guys dazzled fans with great talent and the farm system continues to show potential.

Jurickson Profar tops the list for future Ranger all-stars! This kid can play ball, y’all, and biased as I am towards Ian Kinsler, he needs to watch his back.

In the case that Josh isn’t back for the 2013 season, I think Kinsler moving to the outfield could be good. His speed would be viable there and it would give Murphy (who’s spotlight is to come) and Cruz time off, and help Gentry as he eases into regular outfield play. Martin also shows potential, but definitely isn’t ready for a regular spot in the lineup, so with Kinsler in the OF, Washington could start Murphy and Cruz daily, rotating Kins and Gentry sending in Martin and Beltre if someone needed a pinch hitter, runner or day off. As for Julio Borbon, he makes the list of Rangers I wouldn’t be upset to see go. He’s yet to prove himself offensively consistent and hasn’t worked to earn a lot of playing time. If you don’t prove you want it, why are we keeping you around?

In 2012, David Murphy definitely showed that he’s ready to be an every day player, and Ron Washington has definitely seen that, and shown it by starting him more towards the end of the season. He’s not up for free agency for another year, and if he plays well this season, I definitely feel that the Rangers will make him an offer. He’s a local boy and I think he’ll want to stay around. Money’s not a big issue in his contracts either, so fingers crossed that the Murph stays on fire and keeps burning up in Arlington.

Moving to the infield, with the possibility of Kinsler on the grass and Profar taking his spot at 2^nd the rest of the diamond seems pretty set. Obviously Beltre’s got 3^rd handled. Andrus and short are great and Papa Moreland was heating up offensively and at first base towards the end of the season. Then you have Napoli to stand in on first when Mitch is off. Mike Olt and Brandon Snyder can also fill in at 1^st and 3^rd respectively if needed and Snyder could also be converted to outfield if trades required one of the bench players to leave. But Snyder and Olt are also young, viable players who are available to trade in order to gain bullpen help.

My final note will be that although I love Ian Kinsler dearly, it may be time for the Rangers to let him go. He could be the key to keeping Hamilton and Napoli and they combined are definitely worth seeing him leave. His levels of productivity have been down across the board. There’s less consistency batting leadoff, less homeruns, RBIs, and stolen bases, and he missed several critical routine plays last year picking up unneeded errors like never before. I love the boy, and he’s still young with lots of ball left to play, but maybe he doesn’t need to play it calling Texas home.

So basically, other than Josh Hamilton and Mike Napoli, the bullpen is the major area of concern for Texas this offseason. If there had been greater consistency from some in 2012, there may have been a longer post season run, but maybe a break from playoffs was good for the boys. Who knows?

I’m very optimistic and ready for December meetings to get here and action to happen. It’s so much easier to just know what’s going on than to have to wait.

Stay tuned for my further ramblings on who the Rangers should consider investing in outside of the clubhouse, especially to build their pitching staff.

And please, let me know what you think of my first sports blog!!!

Love y’all!

In Grace’s Amazing Hands,

Katelyn “The Huke”